Storyliving

Pursue a bold and fun life. Tell more magnetic stories. Awaken change in the world.

Reader, I am currently in the middle of 5 personal development books.

Does that sound insane?

I think I would have said the same thing just a few weeks ago, but I am finally starting to embody something I’ve understood about myself for a while now. It’s one thing to understand something. It’s another thing to know it, embody it and become it.

I am a big fan of using Human Design as a tool to more deeply understand myself.

If you haven’t heard of Human Design, I asked ChatGPT to explain it to me in a paragraph as if I was a 12-year-old.

There are 5 main personal types and the easiest way to begin is to simply understand which type you are. To find out you can google Human Design and find yours out, you just need your birth date, time of birth and birth location.

[hit reply and let me know your Human Design, I’d love to know!]

I am a Manifesting Generator (mangen).

The simplest way to understand a mangen is someone with lots of energy. We learn by jumping into things and adjusting as we go. We work best when we follow what excites us and give ourselves permission to change direction.

We tend to move quickly, change direction when something no longer feels right, and work best when we’re responding to what lights us up instead of forcing themselves into one straight path. In simple terms, we learn by doing, exploring, building, and pivoting (man, if that doesn’t describe my journey thus far).

All this pivoting is not the best for building a business and getting known for something, which has been my biggest challenge in building my business so far, but I’ve learned to stay more consistent in the last year or so and have allowed myself to flow and mix things up in other areas of life so I can continue to live by my design and not burn out.

One time I had a Human Design coach give me a concrete example of what it’s like to pivot and she said, “A micro example is that I bet you have a lot of unfinished books on your shelves.”

I told her I did not… I like to bare the fuck down and finish those fuckers.

We laughed and she offered that it may feel better to just let them go if the energy on a book fades (after all, there a millions of books to read, why suffer through?)

So I have begun to do that more and more and it feels so good to not have to bulldoze my way through a book I no longer care about.

Which brings us to the 5 books I am currently rotating through.

I am on a HUGE high right now on pursuing a truly fun and authentic life.

But, like any part of life, there’s a duality present right now.

This feels like something I’d love to talk about forever AND I know my tendency is say, “I’ll talk about this forever” and then 2 months go by and I’m on to some new topic.

Classic mangen.

However, what I have learned about myself and the plateaus of my business is that if I continue to pivot to the brand new exciting thing, I will continue to remain at this plateau and not create the change in the world I hope to create.

I have found that I can remain consistent in the macro of my messaging while I allow my mangen energy (pivoting) to exist in the micro.

I can talk about whatever I want so long as I talk about it through the lens of the storytelling coach who helps you pursue your most authentic and fun life (what I call, Storyliving).

For example, I can talk about playing tennis last night so long as the story is about showing up authentically and having fun (Storyliving).

Or I can talk about the three feet of snow we just got on Monday so long as the story is about showing up authentically and having fun (Storyliving).

(Let me be clear, the stories aren’t about just having fun, it’s sharing the challenge of what it’s like to fully trust myself to be myself so I can have fun—that’s what makes a good story, the challenge)

I genuinely believe everyone can do this and it’s a way to make your messaging and content far more fun.

The same way James Clear is the habits guy. He can talk about relationships, fitness, money or whatever. So long as it’s through the lens of habits.

The same way Brene Brown is the vulnerability gal. She can talk about relationships, fitness, money or whatever. So long as it’s through the lens of vulnerability.

So back to the 5 books.

Right now I got on tap:

• The Art of Impossible by Steven Kotler
• The Power of Fun by Catherine Price
• No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz
• Inner Work by Robert Johnson
• Meditation for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman (not really going to talk about this one today)

The Art of Impossible is exactly what it sounds like it’s about and a big part of the book talks about getting into flow state in order to achieve the impossible.

[I’m listening to the book so this was a paraphrased voice note I left myself, not a direct quote]

The Power of Fun is also exactly what it sounds like and one of the three core ingredients of having true fun is playfulness, connection and flow.

From The Power of Fun, Catherine Price write, “What’s more, flow is also marked by a total lack of self-consciousness, leaves us with what Csikszentmihalyi describes as ‘stronger self-concept’—which is to say, confidence in our authentic selves—and is often accompanied by a sense of mastery and control. When we are in flow, we don’t fear failure.

Ah yes, flow gives us more access to our authentic self. I have had this idea floating around in my head that flow state is one of the best experiences in the world and then Price goes on to say,

Not only do I just want to live in that experience, but being in flow helps you do your best work. As someone who wants to change the world, I’d love to be in flow state all day every day. But there are parts of us that stop us from experiencing fun and flow.

No Bad Parts is the work of Richard Schwartz who founded the therapy practice, Internal Family Systems (IFS).

IFS says we’re made up of different “parts” inside of us like a worried part, an angry part, or a protective part and each one is trying to help us in its own way. Unfortunately, these “negative” emotions don’t actually help us accomplish what we really want. Instead of fighting these parts, IFS teaches you to listen to them with loving curiosity so you can heal and become more of who you truly want to be. The practice is commonly referred to as “parts work.”

Inner Work is dream and imagination interpretation using Jungian philosophy. Your dreams and imagination are windows into your unconscious, and as Carl Jung has famously said, “until you make the unconscious conscious, it will run your life and you will call it fate.”

Doing “Inner Work” is the practice of bringing the unconscious to the surface and, very similar to IFS, build a loving relationship with what your inner world is telling you so you can learn from it and become more of who you truly want to be.

What brings all these books together is learning to develop the skill to effortlessly move through these parts of ourselves because they ultimately hold us back from living in constant state flow, feeling more love and having more fun (so we can change the world).

The goal isn’t to never have “negative” emotions. The goal is to cultivate the skill to transmute them instantly. These books feel like the perfect cocktail to reach this goal.

My intention was never to accumulate all these books to read simultaneously. It just happened because I have allowed myself to follow the energy of what excites me and not judge myself for doing things that may seem a bit crazy or untraditional.

Since I’ve allowed myself to do that, I am having so much fun finding all overlap and intersections and it is giving me life. It’s hydrating my soul.

I have been entering flow state as I grab each book and draw connections and line up quotes and turn it into a piece of content, podcast episode, or even writing this article you’re reading right now (so far this has been such an easy thing to write, my fingers haven’t stopped typing in the last 20 minutes (secondary update: I am editing this article right now and finding that this article needs minimal editing compared to most of my pieces—ah the power of flow!)).

There would have been an old version of my that wouldn’t have allowed myself to purchase a new book because I was only on page 50 of the current one.

Once I got over that block and started allowing myself to put books down without finishing them and move to the next one, I would still then force myself to be committed to the new book. I couldn’t possibly go back to the old book I just put down… I gave up on that one!

Now it’s different. I left myself follow the energy.

Every morning and night before I read I take one minute of deep breaths and ask myself which book feels most energizing and then I grab that book and read. So far, every book I choose is so energizing and I don’t want to put it down. It’s made the consumption so fun (yeah, that’s right, the work is fun).

I don’t know if a 6th book will be added (I hope not, but I won’t reject it), but my goal is to do a little “book report” of sorts once I am completed with these books and compile it all into something useful for myself and the world.

For now, I want to conclude with something Steven Kotler recommends in The Art of Impossible as the first step to achieve the Impossible (or at least what has helped me get into flow state like I did writing this article).

Getting into flow state

Step one: Uncover what you truly enjoy

First, this is simply a hypothesis. You don’t need to get this right. There is nowhere to be. You don’t need to “figure it out,” which implies that once you have figured it out, you’ll then get something from that. No. The uncovery journey is the fun, as you will see…

So, think about something that you would enjoy diving into if you had a completely free weekend. Don’t force yourself to “study” something, find where there is energy and follow it. What currently pique’s your interest? What would you love to read a book on, binge watch youtube videos, or listen to a few podcasts on?

The big tip is to be as specific as possible.

Kotler says, “Don’t write down football or punk rock or food. These categories are too vague to be useful. Instead, be curious about the pass-blocking mechanics required to play left tackle; the evolution of political punk from Crass to Rise Against; or the potential for grasshoppers to become a primary human food source in the next ten years.”

Specificity like this provides our brain’s pattern recognition system with the information required to connect our ideas which leads to step two.

Step two: Hunt for intersections

“Say both grasshoppers as a food source and the mechanics of playing left tackle are on our list,” Steven writes. If we’re “into pass-blocking mechanics, [we] ‘re probably also interested in the nutritional requirements necessary to play left tackle. Insects are exceptionally high in protein—would they make a good football food?”

This is where it gets fun and the science proves it.

“By stacking motivations, that is, layering curiosity atop curiosity atop curiosity, we’re increasing drive but not effort. This is what happens when our own internal biology does the heavy lifting for us.”

Let yourself play. Make up some new hypothesis and go wild seeing if you’re right.

Step three: Play in the intersections

Now that we’ve identified areas where our curiosities overlap, we want to spend time learning about and investigating the intersections.

“Devote twenty to thirty minutes a day to listening to podcasts, watching videos, reading articles, books, whatever, on any aspect of that overlap,” Steven writes. If we’re “interested in supply-chain management in the health care industry and you’re also curious about artificial intelligence, then it’s time to explore the advantages and disadvantages that artificial intelligence brings to supply-chain management in the health care industry.”

Our objective is to feed our curiosities daily, a little at a time. “This slow-growth strategy takes advantage of the brain’s inherent learning software,” he writes, “Lucky for us, our brains love narrative—which is nothing more than pattern recognition over time. [If we] pay attention to historical details as we play around in a new subject, our brain will naturally stitch these details together into a coherent story via our biological need to link cause with effect. It’s automatic. You’ll also get a little dopamine along the way as you recognize those historical patterns which will increase curiosity and amplify motivation even further…. If we construct that narrative, we’ll see learning rates increase and time to mastery decrease.”

Could anything be more fun than this?

Instead of doom scrolling at night, you could get addicted to learning new things and developing mastery in your work simply by following the energy of your excitement!

For example, I was reading Joseph Campbell’s Hero With a Thousand Faces because it’s like, THE book for storytelling (you have probably heard of Joseph Campbell for popularizing the Hero’s Journey Framework). I, as the storytelling guy, should probably read this right?

Oh my god that book is dense. There were some good parts, but man was I not enjoying myself reading it. And ya know what, every other storytelling coach has probably read that which means we’re all just going to be regurgitating that same shit. Why bother?

I asked myself, what would I really enjoy reading? Where’s the energy?

I have been feeling myself called to get into Carl Jung’s work and I love psychology, so that’s what lead me to buying Inner Work.

Step four: Go public

“Cultivating real passion isn’t an overnight process,” Steven writes. To amplify our passion, we need to experience positive feedback from others. “Start chatting with whoever sits next to you, and teach them about the stuff you’ve been teaching yourself. Then do it again. Talk to a different stranger, tell a few friends about your ideas, or join a meetup devoted to the subject. An online community. A book club. And if one doesn’t exist, start your own.”

Or… create content!

By sharing, you will find your people who get energized by hearing your passion. Their feedback gives you more dopamine which enhances the feedback loop of encouraging (or motivating) you to keep at it!

And of course, if you are bold enough to unapologetically share all this, it will be the thing that helps you stand out so you can change the world.

In Summary

So you can see how:

1. I am literally embodying this practice by accident with all these books. I can feel the dopamine coursing through my veins as I write this and make all these connections. This is far more fun than mindlessly scrolling or binge watching Netflix
2. Not only is the research a kind of flow state, but writing this has been in flow. In other words, my “work” is so fun
3. Just so happens, by sharing it publicly it will probably help me grow my business. And I am in the business of changing the world.

If you know your work is super important but struggle finding the motivation to consistently show up or do the “hard” work, first of all, have some grace with yourself (and know that it’s not your fault the apps are so addicting, they are literally designed that way).

Second, I would check where you are putting self imposed rules on yourself like “I can only read one book at a time!” Whose rules are you playing by? Is it time to break those rules and try something new?

Finally, follow your energy and learn how to love yourself when you aren’t.

If you want to have fun changing the world, join the Storyliving Bootcamp waitlist. It’s a 4-week cohort to learn how to pursue your most fun life and turn that pursuit into magnetic stories that change the world. We’ll start up again some time in April. Tap here and I’ll put you on the waitlist.

With love,

Matt