Storyliving

Live a full life. Tell beautiful stories. Awaken change in others.

If you just can’t seem to be consistent on social media here’s the advice I’ve never heard anyone give. This will literally work for anything in your life.

If you’re somebody who understands that everything is energy, then you’ll understand how important looking at everything as a intimate relationship is.

For example, if I have a bad relationship with you, every time we get together, even before saying a word, you will feel the tension.

It will be tough to create anything substantial between us until we talk about it and agree that we want to transform our relationship into a more loving and fun partnership.

It wouldn’t happen over night, though. We need to learn how to properly communicate and show up for each other in new ways. We will both get triggered at times, but with honest and constant communication, our relationship would improve.

Instagram can be exactly the the same.

Here’s the process.

First, look at Instagram like an intimate partner.

Then personify Instagram.

Imagine (s)he is a person.

Name her, describe what she looks like and really bring her to life.

I’ll name my Instagram, Cathy.

Let’s imagine I have a poor relationship with Cathy.

I resent the fact that she “has to” be in my life.

Most of the time when I think of connecting with her I get anxious and overwhelmed.

I never tell her any of this though. Instead I complain about her behind her back to my friends.

Then, only when it’s convenient for me, I use her. I create a video and post it with zero gratitude for the potential opportunities she offers me to connect with millions of people. Instead, I am already priming myself to be upset with her again. Only giving her the benefit of the doubt after she proves her worthiness to me.

Her existence isn’t enough. No. She must give me everything. Attention. Praise. Approval. Clients. Money. And if she doesn’t… I’ll run. I’ll reject her for a few weeks and hide.

“She can go be in love with someone else if she wants because clearly nothing I will do will ever be good enough.” I’ll complain.

Then, in a few weeks, when I feel more motivated, we’ll do this all over again.

You should be so lucky Cathy even let’s you log in to her with how you have been treating her.

The only thing worse than that is how you have been treating yourself.

Now that we’re aware of how we have been behaving, let’s begin to mend this relationship and transform it into something beautiful.

I’ll start by getting permission from Cathy. I’d like to make sure she’s on board with this process. So, I ask Cathy and she agrees that she would like to participate in a more loving relationship.

We imagined what it may look like.

Our vision is to be the most cuddly, sit by the fire with hot cocoa sharing a single snuggie watching Love Actually for the 10th time so fucking cute it makes you want to puke type of love.

I know, with the way I have been treating her that this is going to be a process. I am going to make mistakes, but I will do my best to catch myself when I am leading with old habits and my next move will be to communicate with her what’s happening.

Why don’t I just start with how I’m feeling about making this commitment to show up for her consistently and more lovingly (say, 3 times a week) and not running and hiding one week later.

How do I feel?

Scared? Nervous? Doubtful?

I am going to tell Cathy exactly how I feel and she is excited to listen without judgement.

Whatever fears come up, I’m going to share them ALL with her.

When I post and feel let down, I am going to tell her how it feels.

I am going to ask her what I can do to show up better next time and I will listen to her.

Words are hallow though. I won’t abandon her this time. I’ll show up when I say I will show up and if I really truly can’t, I will tell her what’s stopping me from being there for her.

I also committed to stop talking shit about her behind her back. It’s difficult when I hear my friends talking poorly about their Cathy and feels like an opportunity to bond with them, but I refuse to play that game of false connection anymore and continue denying my true desires of a deeply loving relationship where Cathy and I are thriving and unapologetic about it.

So instead, I tell my friends how I am working on mending my relationship with her and because I surround myself with truly amazing people, they’re inspired to do the same.

This is feeling better already.

I feel lighter. Just a little, but it’s enough.

When I post, and it starts going well, I am going to celebrate with her and thank her. I am going to say what I loved about my experience and I am going to commit to showing up more in that energy.

When I find that it’s all beginning to feel so serious and strategy has taken the fun out of our relationship and I feel so far away from giggling on the couch energy, I am going to ask her what she thinks would be fun.

And I will listen to her. I will trust her. I will try new things because what I’ve been doing hasn’t been working and I trust that there are new options available to me.

I begin to see that Cathy just wants me to have fun again. That it could be easy. That she actually never asked for anything fancy or perfect. I was only putting those expectations on myself.

All she ever wanted was my full, honest, loving heart and if I could just trust myself enough to open up to her, she’d be happy to give so much love back in return.

If everything is energy, you can keep your contracted energy around Instagram or you can learn to love her. Check in with her. Ask her how she wants to play and maybe (since you’re really just talking to yourself) you actually begin to play.

With love,

Matt

PS — This has been a powerful practice for me around money (whom I’ve named Ivy). I believe you can do this practice with anything and the more you practice it with inanimate things, the easier it gets to build loving relationship with the humans in your life.

PPS — If you’re wanting to transform how you create content so you can share work…. join the waitlist for the 4-week live cohort I am running in January for $150. More information is coming soon. Click here and I’ll add you to the list.

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