Storyliving

Connect more deeply with yourself so you can tell magnetic stories that connect you deeply with others.

Do you ever have a great idea for a story to tell, maybe it just happened and you’re driving home so you can’t dive deep into it, so you write it down to come back to later.

Then, say 3 days later, you sit down to tell the story and you simply don’t feel the energy that you had 3 days ago.

You’re frustrated because this is not the first time and you wonder how you can ever be consistent in this practice when this keeps happening.

I’m not immune to this problem either. Even when I have an idea to write about, I can get stuck. Whenever I am struggling to write, it’s because the energy around what I’m writing is just not there. But I have the fix!

If you haven’t seen, I started this series on Instagram breaking down Pixar’s 22 rules for Storytelling so you can tell stories that connect more deeply with people.

While I was breaking down rule number 3 it reminded me of this challenge people have because someone in the Storyliving Mastermind just stated this exact problem and it’s a challenge my 1:1 client had expressed to me a month ago.

Today, I’m going to do a deeper dive for Pixar’s 3rd rule for storytelling than will be presented on Instagram so I can help you find that momentum and energy around your stories so you can move through blocks faster and ship more work.

Your Memory Isn’t Static

Memory is a funny thing. The psychology has been studied in depth, especially with respect to eye-witness testimonials.

According to a few sources around the psychology of memory and testifying in court [1,2]:

• Memory isn’t a perfect recording, it’s reconstructed each time you recall it, so details can shift.
• Post-event info can alter memory like when you talk to others, scroll through social media, or by being asked questions about the event.
• Memory can be influenced by expectations & biases. People tend to fill in gaps based on what they think should have happened, not what did happen.
• Witnesses can influence each other. When people compare accounts, memories can start to conform to the group version.
• Time weakens accuracy. Memories fade and details get lost the longer it is between the event and recall.

It’s probably all these reasons why your original idea that felt so right in the moment, doesn’t feel so right now.

It’s been altered through time.

That’s going to be EVERY. SINGLE. STORY. for the rest of your life.

It’s unavoidable.

So what, you’re just going to say, “fuck it,” to every story that doesn’t feel alive when you sit down to write it and then move on with your life as that past experience sloshes around in your unconscious unfinished.

In fact, I’d put money on the fact that because you tried to tell the story but couldn’t, and now you’ve shamed yourself for not being able to tell that story, that experience has now become more disempowered in your head than what actually happened.

What a catch-22.

So you have options. Every memory can either…

• Forget it and let it fade into oblivion
• Become some tiny anecdote that you don’t really know how to talk about
• Be the reason life is so hard for you
• or be the reason why life is so wonderful and beautiful

It all depends on how YOU tell the story.

“You don’t remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened” - John Green

I choose to tell the stories of why life is so wonderful and beautiful.

Every single experience I have gets to be the reason why I have become a man that I love.

Every experience is the story of why I am smarter than I was yesterday, why I’m having so much fun in life, how brave I am for taking bold action, and where I am finding love in any moment.

It’s all up to you.

Pixar’s 3rd Rule of Storytelling

"Trying for theme is important, but you won’t see what the story is actually about until you’re at the end of it. Now rewrite."

Lots of the time, the lesson I share in a story wasn’t the lesson I went into it with.

The idea I had and momentum I felt when I jotted the idea down was important, but it’s not always the full truth of that story… at least not anymore.

I can go into a story with that idea, but as I write I uncover deeper truths.

ESPECIALLY if I’m feeling stuck around telling the story, that’s an indication I am trying to hold on to the original meaning and I’m not allowing the full truth to come through.

This is why I recommend to not try to edit as you first start writing. Let the new idea that needs to come through, come through. But it won’t come through if you grip too tightly to the original meaning you made of it.

We try so hard to make storytelling and content creation “easier” or more efficient so we refuse to write second or third drafts because that feels like wasted time. However, it’s refusing to edit drafts that makes the creation process so hard in the first place.

Where are we in such a hurry to get to?

The next piece of content?

In Flynn Skidmore’s recent newsletter he spoke about the Law of Attraction, or as he is calling it, The Law of Radiation.

He defines that as, “What you radiate in your thoughts, feelings, mental pictures, and spoken words is what you attract into your life,” and went on to say, “your inner coherence determines what the field (said differently, the universe) can attune to and deliver.”

Life truly is a reflection of who you be. If you are anxious and hurrying your storytelling process and nothing you create ever feels truly good from the soul (aka it doesn’t resonate in your bones), then life will mirror that right back to you.

Let’s take viral reels. I like to break down viral reels, not because virality is the goal, but because it proves resonance. Right now, I’m seeing more and more stories on my feed that barely have an semblance of a hook, sometimes they don’t even add captions, but still it has tons of engagement.

What’s going on here?

They are not following the rules!!! (hashtags, trending audio, perfect hook, and captions)

I believe one core thing is happening: there are no rules to social media, only principles.

The two principles I understand after doing this work for over 6 years:

1. Storytelling is wired into our neurology and people LOVE stories (Huberman talks about this if you want to hear the science)
2. Your content holds the truth of your energy. The engagement you get on social media is direct a mirror of your inner coherence.

(btw I broke down 4 viral reels in my updated 6-part storytelling training which you can check out here absolutely free)

So, when you come back to an idea or story and you are feeling stuck and disconnected to it, it’s because you are not telling your full truth. And yes, your full truth about the story has changed starting the moment you stepped out of that experience and into a new one.

That’s life! (cue Sinatra)

Your job is to uncover the current truth of what you really want to say. The way to uncover the truth is to sit down and write it out.

Don’t edit.

Don’t try for a theme.

Try for the truth.

What’s your truth right here, right now. Not when it happened.

And if it is your truth and it really matters to you, the energy, joy and excitement will come—and oftentimes I’ve found, it comes on just as hard as if I was experiencing the moment all over again.

And now, you get to rewrite it.

With love,

Matt